Computer Philosophy 101 1) There are two ways to write error-free programs; only the third one works. 2) A hacker does for love what others would not do for money 3) A printer consists of three main parts: the case, the jammed paper tray and the blinking red light. 4) Real programmers don't document. If it was hard to write, it should be hard to understand. 5) A user-friendly computer first requires a friendly user. 6) Adding manpower to a late software project makes it later. 7) Computer analyst to programmer: "You start coding. I'll go find out what they want." 8) Computer hackers do it all night long. Computer modelers simulate it first. 9) Computer Science: solving today's problems tomorrow. 10) Hit any user to continue. 11) If your computer says, "Printer out of Paper," this problem cannot be resolved by continuously clicking the "OK" button. 12) I have yet to meet a C compiler that is more friendly and easier to use than eating soup with a knife. 13) My software never has bugs. It just develops random features. 14) Standards are industry's way of codifying obsolescence. 15) Hey! It compiles! Ship it! 16) Intel: We put the "um..." in Pentium. 17) A computer is like an Old Testament God, with a lot of rules and no mercy. 18) BREAKFAST.COM Halted...Cereal Port Not Responding 19) Smash forehead on keyboard to continue... 20) Enter any 11-digit prime number to continue... 21) All wiyht. Rho sritched mg kegtops awound? 22) Error: Keyboard not attached. Press F1 to continue. 23) Press any key to continue or any other key to quit... 24) Documentation is like sex: when it is good, it is very, very good; when it is bad, it is better than nothing.