WWJD: The following information is sent to the many Religious Scholars
(and those of you shopping for a new car as the 2002 models are hitting the the
market) in our vast network of Communicants. 

Most people assume WWJD is for "What would Jesus do?" But the initials
really stand for "What would Jesus drive?"  Some scholars insist that Jesus
drove a Honda but didn't like to talk about it. As proof, they cite a verse
in St. John's gospel where Christ tells the crowd, "For I did not speak of
my own accord."

Another theory exposed by certain Detroitian theologians is that Jesus
would tool around in an old Plymouth, because "the Bible says God drove Adam and
Eve out of the Garden of Eden in a Fury." (the German School calls this
heresy).  But in Psalm 83, the Almighty clearly owns a Pontiac and a Geo,
and uses His miraculous healing powers to make them fast and reliable
transportation. The passage urges the Lord to "pursue your enemies with
your Tempest and terrify them with your Storm." (something only God could do
with a Pontiac and a Geo).  Further hermeneutical studies, however, point to the
fact God favors Dodge pickup trucks (though all Rednecks already know that)
because Moses' followers are warned not to go up a mountain "until the
Ram's horn sounds a long blast." 

Meanwhile, no serious argument has ever been given against the fact that
Moses rode an old British motorcycle, as clearly evidenced by the Bible
passage declaring that "the roar of Moses' Triumph is heard in the hills."
As the faithful protege' of Moses, Joshua drove his old master's wheels,
which by this time had a hole in its muffler: "Joshua's Triumph was heard
throughout the land."  

Getting back to the theory that Christ drove a Honda, some scholars insist
that the the cost-conscious and environment-friendly Apostles followed the
Master's lead by car-pooling in a Honda... as we are clearly told: "The
Apostles were in one Accord!"