Why is Jesus the only biblical figure who has a last name?
Men have more common sense than women. Name one men's garment that zips up
in the back. 
If government policy was really determined by opinion polls, why do we still
have the IRS and income tax? 
Making a sequel to Gone With the Wind is like making a rap version of
"Dixie".  Some things were meant to be left as they are.
He was a very clumsy lover, so the girl had to put him in her place.
It's funny how Clinton managed to dodge the first Vietnam only to start the
second one. 
When I'm frightened by the thought of Al Gore or Dan Quayle for president,
two words of comfort come to mind: Elizabeth Dole! 
The severity of the itch is proportional to the reach.  
Health Food Stores are a big deal in the 90's.  I have serious doubts
though.  How come the clerks look like death warmed over ?
90's girls are anything but dumb.  They all know a good thing when they sue
it.
Speaking of food (I was) the four basic food groups of the 90's seem to be:
carry-out, frozen, fast and junk.
The "lucky man" of the 90's has a neat car, a satellite dish, an
entertainment center, a fast computer & a wife.  And they all work !
Who sez 90's women can't plan meals.  Some of the ones I know make something
great for dinner every nite -- reservations.  
I have a gift suggestion for the "Yuppie who has everything" -- A home
security alarm service.
Honesty is almost a thing of the past these days.  In my day, honesty came
from your parents, the Church and an overwhelming fear of being caught..
Is there a zoning law that requires each new strip mall to have a
chiropractor's office, a tanning salon, a nail salon, a laundry, and a
Chinese restaurant? 
Dan Quayle for president?  I'd rather have a president who occasionally
misquotes or misspells than one who habitually lies, cheats, gropes, and is
repeatedly being accused of adultery and harassment.  But you choose which
is more important, America.